Poem: I was a super cool girl.

Before you came along, I was a super cool girl.
There’s a swagger in my walk.
The only way not to drop the video camera when shooting charging FRUs.
There’s loud arrogance in my laugh.
To drown out a heart that is breaking from the world’s cruelty.
I have plenty to say about anything and everything.
You can’t really be an activist-feminist-filmmaker otherwise.
For fear that silence would shut me up
like many others who have been shut up
and my existence, erased.

And then you came along,
Suddenly, I have nothing to say and
‘revolution is a stage of any growing civilization’ becomes
‘err, change is good.’
My laughs turn into childish giggles, shrieking high, annoying, even to myself.
All I could think of is where to place my next foot
and hope I don’t fall over
even though the world is spinning gasing right now.
Or is the spinning gasing the world?
Anyway, I’m not quire sure
Everything seems like a blur.

What I do know is that
I’m very very far from cool.
‘cool’ is a million light years away
and here I am, rowing in my sampan.
and I don’t even know how to row.

I was a cool girl, really.
But you would never believe me.
Because whenever you are around,
Nothing exists below 100 Fahrenheit.

What I am trying to say here I guess, is
Gosh, You are hot!