I haven’t written a blog in a long time. It took a fire of the electric cable to get me to write. This is what happen, a thunderstorm afternoon, then I went out for dinner. I came back to bomba and police crowding round an electric pole near my house. My housemate said she saw fire on the wires and the bomba swiftly put it out, not that it was a big fire, just a small one. Lights were going out slowly in the house, like life was snuffed out from them. we pack our laptops and left for the closet electric oasis. It went dark completely just as we about to step out. Hah, how funny life can be.

At the pseudo middle class coffee place, we plug our extended self to their power point. Turn it on and attempt to continue with our second life, or first, sometimes I don’t know anymore if my life online chatting and working is more real then the one sitting and drinking tea. Unfortunately, or maybe it is fortunate after all, the internet in this modern interpretation of kopitiam doesn’t live up to it’s actual bourgeois counterpart and does not actually work. So here I am, unable to live out my virtual life, doom to observing the steaming smoke coming out of the cooking counter and the annoyingly loud happy people sitting 2 tables away. Then a light bulb appear somewhat hovering over my head and gently raised the question of journaling down what I see.  So that was how I started rattling out this narcissistic piece of ‘my reflection’.

A lot has happen since my last blog, usually it is when a lot is happening that I don’t have time to blog. But what is the most recent disturbing event is a death of a really nice person I know. Not that I know him well but of what I know, he is, or has been, shit, sigh, it is not fair, Ben will not be a ‘has been’, Ben is a really nice guy. Always ready with a hug and muaks muaks, the last time I saw Ben, he offered me a job at the university. Well, I’m not sure if ‘offer’ is the right word since I did sort of asked, pestered and beg for a tutoring job from Ben since last year. And ben, being the sweetheart, know how close-to-moving-back-to-hometown broke I was, always has a positive word or two, ‘don’t worry dear, we’ll work something out k.’ when he has finally figured it out, that there is something that might suit this crazy activist feminist that occasionally makes films and ‘offered’ me a job, I had to turn it down because I’m leaving the country soon. Gosh. I’m thankful tho Ben, very thankful and I hope you know that. You are a darling! Muaks Muaks!! Have a rocking time with Toni! May you both continue to start fire in spirits.


The above was written a few weeks back but me, being busy and never enough time, didn’t manage to upload it.

In the span of few weeks, many things have happen, funny how things just continue to happen as if death or birth, war or silence have no impact on it whatsoever.

Arrests/ short films/financial crisis/ptptn/car/bail/actor/c-stand/rehearsal/visa/good bye and I’ll see you on the other side.


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