(tucked tightly in the blanket, unmoved. The cold snowing winter leaves me no real option of moving too far from the warmth of the blanket, the house. The visa situation leaves me stranded within the borders of this nation, with no recourse to work. This mean no income, which further restraint my movement. Caged. After 3 months of moving from countries to countries, treading the world as if it was free, of borders and nation state, as if I was free, of legalities and citizenships. Now i’m stuck and caged. How do you kill a free spirit? Cage it…with passport and visa and trade it for papers written with numerical value. My chest has been in pain. I told noone. I know it is my heart hurling itself against the cage, trying to break free. I blame it not. I had thought that my love for filmmaking and idealistic activism forms two very different spectrum of the person that I am, they actually share one important space, the space for my mind to go free. To live in a world beyond this ridiculous one that we have now. Imagination is not an activity of wasteful indulgence, it is the necessary act of those who wants to be free, and at this point, the only way I keep my caged bruised heart pumping.)
The sword slice through the cherry blossom. A single petal drop onto your cheek, forming a dam for the river on your face. As for the sword that was coming for your heart, I had blocked it with mine. The flowers from the cherry trees always make you cry. I don’t know how to make the tears stop but I can definitely get you away from them. As I fought off this metal clouded swordsman, I grab your hand and we fly as fast as we can from the cherry trees. When we grew tired and thirsty, I found us a stream to rest by. You lay your head in my lap. Without realising, my hand reached for your hair and began stroking it. It seem to calm you down. That, was my biggest victory of the day. I was raised on peace and my sword has been more acquainted with the heart of a fish than the throat of a human. But for you, my sword and I would be the great wall that no army could defeat…and you would be in the centre. You are my centre. If only I have the courage to tell you that. All I could muster was ‘Everything is going to be fine. I will not let anything hurt you.’ If only I can vanquish the darkness in your heart just like what I did to those warriors. But know that there is at least one person in this world that would do anything to keep you safe.